I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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