He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
