That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
