4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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