You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
