His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
