he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
