they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Houston, we have a blender
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
