jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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