just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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