Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
