As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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