And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I want to fling myself into the sun
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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