i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
