I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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