Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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