And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
