I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
