Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
