Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
