u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
