Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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