She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
