dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
