Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
