i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Church boner. Awkwardddd
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
