So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
