Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
did i just pee glitter
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
