So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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