Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
