Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
