Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
