I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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