The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
