his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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