Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
