I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
