I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
