She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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