So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
