she was so not down for the gang bang
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
God, I missed his penis.
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