I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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