i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
