Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
