is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
