the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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