so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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