there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
