what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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