I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
